Article [+ video]: Getting Dealt the Hard Cards
Gearing up to write this newsletter has been tough. I’ll share why in a second but suffice to say if there’s anything we’ve learned in 2020, is that life is never going to stop dealing you the hard cards. This past week was no different.
See, we get dealt the hard cards so that we learn things that help to make the rest of our job/career/life easier.
Things like:
how to navigate crisis, change and challenge
how to pull ourselves back up and face the day
how to feel sad/bad feelings and still function effectively
how to cope with the unexpected that comes from left field
how to speak into the uncomfortable things with grace and tact
We need the hard cards to learn how to function a bit better during the times we’re holding a hand of easy (easier?) cards.
This week in my Better Leaders League program I taught a lesson about how managers sometimes need to take a backstep.
Sometimes managing is two steps forward and two steps back.
Sometimes managing is having the answers one day then being stumped the next.
Sometimes managing is changing direction even when you fully thought you were on the right track.
Sometimes managing is slowing down to welcome a pause while everyone else is charging forward.
A backstep is required to keep us flexible to what life is going to serve up to us.
This week not only did I teach this lesson, I learned it.
Watch video lesson or continue reading below…
My father died on Sunday. Suddenly, peacefully, beautifully. There’s no subtle way to insert such a big, hard card into an email without feeling a bit weird – my apologies for that.
And yet, it seemed to be life serving me up an opportunity to backstep. To take the momentum and forward motion of things and pull the rug out just a bit as a reminder that life isn’t always two steps forward.
A backstep is life designing itself in its own special way.
We need backsteps despite how hard they might feel or despite how sad or sudden. Backsteps are just as important as the forward ones – both are part of the dance of life. A little forward, a little backward.
Backsteps help show us the way. By taking pause, or slowing up, or stepping into a different path, we become enriched though a different and oftentimes deeper experience.
It may not feel like it at the time but, friend, the lessons are there.
WHAT THIS MEANS FOR MANAGERS
Think of manager training is taking a backstep like dancing. <<insert giphy of DJ Khalid doing the mambo here>> While dancing, we’re cognizant of the person in front of us and the moves they’re making in harmony (or not) with the moves we are making.
What’s their rhythm? Is your timing aligned? Are toes being stepped on? There’s a real-time observation of what’s happening on the dance floor (unless alcohol is served, then, well….).
Ultimately, that observance lead us to the question: “Do I need to take a backstep and would it better serve my communication/relationship with the person in front of me?”
With someone on your team, your backstep could be a deep breath, a pause, a question, an apology, a redirect, a do-over, a courageous step into a tough conversation. All of the above.
Really, it means an openness to accept the direction you are going may need to shift.
In honor of my Dad, will you consider what backsteps life may be asking you to take? My encouragement to you is the same as I’m trying to remember myself which is:
Life is full and forward moving, no matter what hard card stops you in your tracks.
Cheers to you and your courageous ability to handle all the hard cards that might be in your hand at the moment.
Cecilia
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Interested in growing your skills as a manager? Check out how Manager Boot Camp might help.
About The Author
For the past two decades, Cecilia Gorman has helped advertising agencies and other creatively-minded companies fix costly communication and productivity issues by teaching managers how to become better connectors, motivators, and leaders. Cecilia is the author of Always Believe In Better, creator of the digital learning course for managers—Manager Boot Camp, and co-founder of the global training and support community for working women—Empowership. For media inquiries or to learn more about hiring Cecilia to speak at your organization click below.
