Of Course, They Don't Think Like You Do
Let’s start by soaking in this statement I read online:
"The fact that you are not as concerned as they are doesn't mitigate their concern at all. Not one bit."
We can transfer this statement to the workplace: "They" are your employees.
The item of concern can literally be anything. Their concern about being asked to return to a physical office. Their concern about AI potentially shifting and reducing jobs, or about a recent co-worker's resignation. Even seemingly small concerns like the venue of the upcoming summer party or a switch to a new phone plan.
The fact that someone on your team is differently concerned than you, doesn’t diminish or negate it.
How often might someone say, “Oh, don’t worry about that” or “That’s nothing”?
Heck, I’m sure we do this more than we'd care to admit. If something is a small concern to us, we believe it surely must be small for the next person.
<<insert lengthy blurb about how our biases and personal beliefs impede our ability to be open to others’ perspectives>>
I’ll spare you the above-said blurb, yet our beliefs about what “IS” for ourselves can limit our ability to recognize what “IS” for others.
WHAT THIS MEANS FOR MANAGERS
It might be time to check how often you believe your own truth to be, well, the actual truth. And, in this context specifically, you may want to check in on how often your level of concern becomes how you judge your own team's concerns.
The goal is to be a manager who doesn't diminish others and has the ability to recognize when people on their team are more (or less) concerned about ___________ (fill in the blank).
Friend, are you a manager who is able to recognize and acknowledge the varying levels of concern on your team?
I know what you are thinking..."But, Cecilia, I don't have time...I don't always know...I don't always care."
I hear you. Even still, I'm plopping this message into your ears just the same.
A few good phrases to have at the ready might be:
How are you feeling about this? - Gives space for their voice before yours
Tell me your thoughts - Allows the forum for their input and point of view
What's your level of concern here? - Elicits concern level head on
Consider a few thoughts
1. When you are NOT concerned about the concerns of people on your team, and what might be the cause? Identify when too little time, not enough empathy, or some other reason might be limiting you here.
2. What would help you be more aware of the varying levels of worry or concern that people on your team might have at any given time?
3. Write "My concern level isn't theirs" on a post-it and hang it where you can see it. For the next month or so, see how this awareness shifts your thoughts.
About The Author
Wildly addicted to all things leadership, Cecilia Gorman is a veteran of the advertising industry and the owner of Creative Talent Partners, a training consultancy that specializes in manager development.
Whether it’s a team offsite, a manager workshop, or through her Manager Boot Camp program, Cecilia’s mission is to teach, inspire, and motivate people toward their greatest potential.
