Sometimes Managing Requires Backsteps
Gearing up to write this blog has been tough. I’ll share why in a second but suffice to say if there’s anything we’ve learned in 2020, it's that life is never going to stop dealing us the hard cards. This past year, 2021 was no different.
See, we get dealt the hard cards so that we learn things that help to make the rest of our job/career/life easier.
Things like how to:
Navigate crisis, change, and challenge
Pull ourselves back up and face the day
Feel sad/bad feelings and still function effectively
Cope with the unexpected that comes from left field
Speak into the uncomfortable things with grace and tact
We need the hard cards to learn how to function a bit better during the times we’re holding a hand of easier cards.
Recently, I taught a lesson about how managers sometimes need to take a backstep.
Here's how I described it:
Sometimes managing is two steps forward and three steps back.
Sometimes managing is having all the answers one day then being stumped the next.
Sometimes it's changing direction when you fully thought you were on the right track.
Sometimes it's slowing down to welcome a pause while everyone else is charging forward.
A backstep keeps us flexible to handle what life is going to serve up to us later on.
Not only do I teach this lesson, I learned it personally.
My Dad passed away over a year ago. Suddenly, peacefully, heart-wrenchingly. There’s no subtle way to insert such a big, hard card into a blog without it feeling a bit weird – for you and for me...my apologies for that.
And yet, it seemed life was serving me up an opportunity to backstep. To take the momentum and forward motion of things and pull the rug out just a bit as a reminder that life isn’t always two steps forward.
A backstep is life designing itself in its own mysterious way.
We need backsteps despite how hard they might feel, despite how sad or sudden. Backsteps are just as important as the forward ones. Both are part of the dance of life - a little forward, a little backward.
Backsteps help show us the way. By taking pause or slowing up, or stepping into a different path, we become enriched through a different and oftentimes deeper experience.
It may not feel like it at the time but, friend, the lessons are there.
WHAT THIS MEANS FOR MANAGERS
Think of managers taking a backstep like dancing. While dancing, we’re cognizant of the person in front of us and the moves they’re making in harmony (or not) with the moves we are making.
What’s their rhythm? Is your timing aligned? Are toes being stepped on? There’s a real-time observation of what’s happening on the dance floor between you and the other person (unless alcohol is served, then, well...).
Ultimately, that observance leads us to the question: "Do I need to take a backstep, and would it better serve our ability to dance together?"
With someone on your team, the question might be: "Do I need to take a backstep, and would it better serve my communication/relationship with them?"
Your backstep could be a deep breath, a pause, a question, an apology, a redirect, a do-over, a courageous step into a tough conversation, all of the above. Really, it means the openness to accept that the direction you are going may need to shift.
In honor of my Dad, will you consider what backsteps life may be asking you to take right now?
My encouragement to you is the same as I’m trying to remember myself, which is:
Life is full and forward-moving, no matter what hard card stops you in your tracks.
Cheers to you and your courageous ability to handle all that might be in your hand at the moment.
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About The Author
For the past two decades, Cecilia Gorman has helped advertising agencies and other creatively-minded companies fix costly communication and productivity issues by teaching managers how to become better connectors, motivators, and leaders. Cecilia is the author of Always Believe In Better, creator of the digital learning course for managers—Manager Boot Camp, and co-founder of the global training and support community for working women—Empowership.
Interested in growing your skills as a manager? Check out how Manager Boot Camp might help.