Ouch!

Have you ever been given a compliment followed by a put down? And you're just utterly confused over how to feel? The good ol' Kiss and a Kick tactic.

Yep! I'm sure we all have. As I was yesterday and I'm still a bit pinched over it.

Here's the story, you tell me if I've got it backwards.

I write a post on LinkedIn. A somewhat tragic one (imo) where a jerk CEO berates one of my advertising students during an interview. Morale of the story: Don't be a jerk.

It's been getting some great, passionate comments, which to me proves people can relate to being treated poorly by a jerk at least once in their career.

Last night, I get a message via LinkedIn from a local CEO. "I agree with you on your article. 100%. I just wish it could have been edited for grammatical errors."

Dude! Why you gotta dis my grammar?!

My blood started to boil...over this tiny comment..for longer than it should have.

I ghost wrote pissy replies in my head. I imagined publicly shaming him (note the irony...the article was about NOT shaming people).

All over a small comment where << insert benefit of the doubt here>> he was most likely trying to help me.

Now folks, when you find yourself in emotional hijack over a sentence smaller than 11 words, you gotta stop and ask yourself a couple of questions:

+ why am I so mad over this? did the comment touch on a sensitive area? is there something about it that hit a chord of something deeper going on?

+ why do I care what this person thinks? does this person really matter in your world? are they a mentor, an influencer, or somehow connected to your success?

+ is what they are saying true? despite how the comment felt emotionally, is what they are saying true? does it help you in any way?

Trust me when I say stopping mid-emotional hijack to ask a few introspective questions is quite nearly impossible. It's a easier to stop and reflect the next day when your temperature has cooled down a bit.

Next time someone kisses then kicks you - Take a breath. Take a walk. Dust off and find the golden nugget within what they have said (any nugget you can possibly find) that will help you learn and grow.

_

Interested in growing your skills as a manager? Check out how Manager Boot Camp might help.