Avoiding Giving Feedback, Anyone?
If you are new here, welcome to my musings. Just about once a month, I'll write a message designed to help managers manage a bit better. If you're reading this, that's you 🫵🏻.
Two conversations I've had in the last week prompted today's message. Two pretty high-up folks (both company owners) were agonizing over a performance conversation they did not want to have.
Here's a combined list of details causing their agony, and subsequent avoidance:
it was a long-time employee in both cases
they felt personally connected ie. friends with the employee
they have talked to them previously about the issue
they are worried about their reaction
the employee is causing others on the team to complain
they have stalled the conversation for quite some time
they knew their avoidance was adding to the problem
And yet.
And yet, neither wanted to speak to their employee about the problem.
Sound familiar? I'm sure that's happened to a lot of us at some point in our management. Conflict avoidance is in the DNA of most managers. Heck, most people.
However, if you own a company or lead a team and are avoiding conversations that need to be and should be happening, that's a clear violation of Leadership 101.
WHAT THIS MEANS FOR MANAGERS
My friend, I know it's tough to talk to employees about performance. They aren't called tough conversations because they're sweet and fun.
Perhaps being armed with a few more tools and resources might better arm you with not only the skills but also the wherewithal to have the conversations you need to have as a manager.
In a nutshell, here's the advice I gave these two managers:
believe that you can be kind AND direct simultaneously
it's because you care about them that your direct feedback is necessary
you can be compassionate AND have expectations for their performance
the longer you wait, the more stress you'll feel
the more you stall, the bigger the performance problem grows
avoiding performance conversations is a detriment to you, the employee, AND the business
My advice on this topic goes further, but you get the gist.
In Manager Boot Camp, we go deep on feedback conversations specifically because most managers (most humans) have a hard time addressing the things that really need to be addressed.
Below, I'm sharing a couple of pages from our Boot Camp workbook. Download it and see if it can help with any tough conversations on your plate.
Feedback conversations can be sucky, it's true. But you have to know, they are more sucky if avoided.
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About The Author
Wildly addicted to all things leadership, Cecilia Gorman is a veteran of the advertising industry and the owner of Creative Talent Partners, a training consultancy that specializes in manager development.
Whether it’s a team offsite, a manager workshop, or through her Manager Boot Camp program, Cecilia’s mission is to teach, inspire, and motivate people toward their greatest potential.
