Are You Stuck in a Downward Spiral?
We’ve just finished a quarter of the year, though I'm not entirely sure how that happened so fast. This also means I’m a quarter into my 23 Things I Want to Do This Year list.
One of my 23 things is to take a few 3-day road trips. The first of which I took a few weeks ago to Ojai, a quiet town nestled in a beautiful valley north of LA.
Any tourist guide will tell Ojai visitors to go to Bart’s Bookstore, an amazingly overstocked, mostly outdoor store where you can lose yourself for hours.
I walked away with The Art of Possibility, by Rosamund and Benjamin Zander. She’s a therapist, he’s a conductor and together they share teaching points and personal stories on what it means to create more possibility in your life.
As with anything I read, I try to smoosh it through the filter of managers. And one concept throughout this book was the idea of arresting downward spirals.
A downward spiral is a negative force that pushes a person further away from the possibility of joy. This looks and sounds like ruminating, worrying, arguing, complaining, getting defensive, and so on.
I’d imagine we all have experienced a downward spiral for any number of reasons.
We’re worried about our job security when companies are laying off in full force. We’re stuck in an argumentative cycle that never seems to have a resolution. We’re complaining about a co-worker/client/spouse who does this or that for years on end.
We do this through our own recognition of the spiral and then a positive response to it.
A complaint gets countered with a potential solution. A worry gets tamed with the possibility of an alternate outcome. A bad attitude gets faced with a positive one.
Tit for tat. One for one. We trade spiral for possibility.
Keep in mind, it's not an instant solve. It's more like hitting the tornado with one positive thing over and over - intentionally, consistently, whole-heartedly - to take away its power, one smack at a time.
WHAT THIS MEANS FOR MANAGERS
Think of a downward spiral like a tornado, gaining speed with each patch of dirt or wayward house that crosses its path. It’s fueled by what it sucks up into itself and ultimately does more damage the longer it goes on.
And, just like a tornado, most of us don’t want to be in its path. Downward spirals don’t serve a manager well and they really don’t serve anyone well, including you.
Now is a good time to consider where there might be tornados lurking around your team and what you can do to arrest their progress.
You’ll know there are downward spirals going on when you see and hear these types of things:
Complaints that aren’t coupled with solutions
Worrying without a reality check
Arguments that don't want to be solved
Bad attitudes that stick around a little too long
Defensiveness without any signs of taking ownership
I don’t know about you, but I read this list and see a few things in my personal life that may be on a downward spiral right now 😂.
The hard work of managers is, first, to recognize any downward spirals they are fueling themselves, and, then, to tame the tornadoes fueled by the people on their team.
Consider a few thoughts
1. Where in your life are you stuck in a downward spiral? In what ways could you start to counter that behavior with something more productive?
2. Is downward spiraling more common with one particular employee? Dig into why this employee might be fueling the tornado rather than taming it.
3. Where on your team would an upward spiral toward more possibility and potential serve them best? Discuss as a group how it would feel to break the cycle of any downward spirals they feel are going on.
About The Author
For the past two decades, Cecilia Gorman has helped advertising agencies and other creatively-minded companies fix costly communication and productivity issues by teaching managers how to become better connectors, motivators, and leaders. Cecilia is the author of Always Believe In Better, creator of the digital learning course for managers—Manager Boot Camp, and co-founder of the global training and support community for working women—Empowership.
Interested in growing your skills as a manager? Check out how Manager Boot Camp might help.